No Safe Choices
by operaghost517
Summary: What happens to Pippa after A Great and Terrible Beauty? What does she do while Gemma, Ann and Fee are off solving the mysteries in the world? This story is Pippa's point of view, her story, starting at the end of AGATB
1. Prologue

**My first ever fanfic...I know it's not great writing, I was taking a lot from the actual book. I have just always wondered what things were like for Pippa, so I have decided to find out! Hopefully it will get better as I write! Please R&R, need constructive criticism here!**

**I own nothing!  
**

Prologue

Utter chaos. I have never been so frightened in my life. My heart beats so hard I'm afraid it will come clear out of my chest as I scramble clumsily down the hill toward the river. They've gone. I can't find them. Where are they?!

"Where's Pippa?" I hear Fee shout. _Fee! _I have to get to her. Where is she? I've made it to the riverbank, but no one else is there! There's a boat on the water, maybe I'll be able to see them from there. I have to find them, before it gets them. Or me.

The wind is too strong, and I'm forced into the middle of the water. Sobs rack through me until I can't breathe. "Help me!" I cry out to my friends in vain. The wraith is on the riverbank, pacing back and forth to keep them from me.

"_Yes, that's it…come for her…,"_ I hear it laugh in its raspy voice.

" Please! Help me!" I cry desperately. I see Gemma's face, her green eyes as terrified as I felt. Her eyes flick toward the door of light. I suddenly understand. _She's going to leave me. _

"Through the door—quickly!" she shouts. I see Felicity hesitate. Good Fee, I think as I try frantically to make my way to the shore. She won't leave me.

"We can't leave Pip!"

"We'll come back for her!" Gemma screams and starts pulling them toward the door.

"No!"

Oh my God. Oh my God. They are actually leaving. Fee! What do you think you are doing? I realize that Gemma is the one person Felicity has ever left me for. My breath is ragged as I shriek, "Don't leave me!" All I can think is that I have to get to shore. I move toward the bow of the boat and climb up, tensing myself to jump.

"Pippa—no!" I hear someone scream, but it's too late. I'm immersed in water colder than death.

Water.

Ice.

_Death._

Where am I? Who am I? What has happened?

Has it been an hour? A year? Or maybe just a few seconds?

Am I trapped here forever? Will I die? _Can _I die? Or am I to be eternally living in a watery grave?

All of the sudden, someone yanks on my arm and I am free from my prison. Red flashes before my eyes, and I have just enough time to understand that Gemma has returned for me before I start retching.

"Pippa? Pippa!" She tries to comfort me. I feel as if I have spent a century under that icy wall. _I feel old. _I open my eyes and stare at her. Her emerald eyes are wide and worried. I'd always envied her for her striking eyes.

"Pip, I've come to take you back," she tells me in a soft, measured voice.

"Back," I repeat, tasting the word on my tongue. It tastes bitter. "What will happen to me?"

"I don't know," she whispers honestly.

I realize then what returning will mean for me. "Mrs. Bartleby Bumble, then?" I ask. I reach out to stroke her pale face. I know she knows what I am thinking, and will try to dissuade me from my choice. But it has already been made.

"Please, Pip," she begs, sounded close to tears. It's odd, how I am so calm at this moment. "You have to come back. You just have to."

"Have to…my whole life has been that."

"It could change…"

I shake my head sadly. "I'm not a fighter. Not like you." It was true. I never had possessed the will Gemma had. I was just a silly girl trapped in a complex world. I wanted to be where things were simpler. Where I could do what pleased me, for no other reason than it pleased me. I look down at the grass and find a small handful of berries, no bigger than seeds. A smile echoes across my face. _Like Persephone. _I'll eat the berries, and have to stay. The thought made me happy. Persephone was a beautiful queen.

"But if you eat them…" she tries one more time to change my mind.

"What was it Miss Moore said? There are no safe choices. Only different ones." My final attempt to comfort her. To make her see what I saw. I think Gemma understands. Of all people, I believe she would. Glancing at the river that led me to this choice one last time, I bring the berries quickly to my mouth.

Their taste is sweet on my tongue, though slowly dissolves into sourness. All around me I can feel things changing. I feel myself changing, and not just in my appearance. I feel _good. _Like I had finally taken control of my life. For once, I had made a decision for myself.

My knight comes. I see his shadow on the pink horizon waiting for me, holding the glove I gave him long ago. The boat slowly drifts to the shore. It's funny; the boat that caused this is the one that will fix it. I climb into it and take one last look at my friend Gemma. I don't think I can bring myself to say goodbye. I smile, conveying every feeling to her I've ever had, and she smiles back. That's all I needed.

I board the boat and ride it across the water. My knight helps me out, his hand warm in mine. The sweet grass is soft under my feet as I make my way through it. I take one last look back, but Gemma is gone.


	2. Chapter 1: New Beginnings

**Another short chapter, I know. I just needed to get some stuff out of the way before the real adventure begins… Read and review!**

I'm utterly bored. We've been walking for what seems like hours. Perhaps days. Time seems to have no meaning here. I glance around, observing my surroundings. Green grass stretches endlessly in every direction. I can no longer see the river from whence we came. The eerie glow of the Winterlands is still illuminated on the horizon, and oddly enough, that brings me some comfort. I long for conversation! My knight is dashing, true, but he isn't much for conversation.

"My lord," I say.

"Yes, my lady? Is everything all right? What may I do for you?" He is wholly perfect. Too bad I don't believe in perfect anymore.

"I'm fine," I snap. He looks taken aback. I bat my eyelashes innocently. "I mean, I'm a little confused. Where are we going?"

"I don't know," he says, his eyebrows furrowing.

"Well, then why are we even going at all?" I ask.

"Because that is what you wish, and your wish is my command," he replies, twisting to bow low to me. I don't bother to curtsy. Who do I have to please but me anymore?

"What if it's not what I wish?" I inquire.

"You may stay in the realms, my lady."

I came to a dead stop. Stay in the realms? Was it really possible? I could stay where I had been most happy! And—I barely allowed myself to think it—my friends could visit me!

"Why didn't you tell me so before?" I demand. He bows again.

"You didn't ask."

I'm too lost in thought to complain. "Can we go back, then?" I ask.

"To the gardens, yes. To your world? I should think not."  
It doesn't matter that I couldn't return to see them. They could come see me! I take off at a run, my knight trailing behind me calling, "My lady!"

The river is before me suddenly. Strange. The walk away is so much longer than the walk toward. I look up and down the vast expanse of water, but there is no boat to be found. The water twinkles in the sweet sunlight and looks warm and inviting, so I gingerly lift my skirts and stick a toe in. Ahh! I slowly plunge my entire being into it and begin to slowly swim my way across the shore. I half expect it to freeze up suddenly and claim me again; only this time there would be no Gemma to rescue me. It doesn't. I guess as a creature of the realms, the river can't affect me as it did.

Once again, the opposite bank seems to zoom up much quicker than seems possible. It's almost as if the realms _want _me to go back.

I tread down the familiar path toward the garden, sighing as I enter its welcome comfort. It looks the exactly as I have known it. A beautiful sanctuary. I sink down into the hammock Felicity wove so long ago. _Felicity, _my heart cries with a pang. I want to wallow in misery for missing my friends, but just then, my knight comes traipsing through the woods, looking disgruntled.

"My lady," he grumbles.

"What took you so long?" I question him.

"We had gone quite a long way!" he retorts indignantly. "I ran as fast as I could, but you were too far gone."

This confuses me. I hadn't even been running that fast. I twirl around a bit, reveling in the joy this place brings me. I realized something while staring up at the clear blue sky above me. "I should like to remain here forever," I sigh contentedly.

"Then we shall, my lady," he says grandly.

I give him a cold look. "I said _I _should like to stay here forever."

He bows, and I realize how ugly the top of his head is. "Forgive me for misunderstanding you."

"No, I don't think I shall," I say lazily, reclining in the hammock I had once again sat down in. I plunk out an idle tune and watch a butterfly beat its wings languidly above me. It comes to a rest on my nose and I giggle and blow it away.

My knight throws himself at my feet, his head resting submissively by my feet. "I have displeased you, my lady. I shall strive to make it up to you," he vows. I don't really care anymore. He was a fanciful dream, nothing more.

"No, you shan't," I tell him bluntly. "You may leave."

"What?" For once that perfect face is twisted into a perplexed expression. Apparently he can't comprehend rejection.

"I. Want. You. Gone." I repeat slowly, as though I were talking to a small child.

"What have I done, my lady?" he pleads.

"Nothing," I reply. "I just want you to leave me be. You are dull, arrogant, and quite annoying."

His handsome face contorts with anger. "You stupid girl," he hisses menacingly, before spitting at my feet and stalking away through the trees. I listen to his heavy footsteps for a few long moments before I truly believe he is gone.

What a relief! Sure, the compliments on my breathtaking beauty were lovely, but he was oh so dull! I need a good companion. One who can make me laugh.

_Fee. _

My ache for my friend is so intense at that moment that I crumple to the ground clutching my stomach. Left completely alone, I let grief swallow me, just for a moment. Tomorrow will be a better day. Tomorrow I will be stronger.


	3. Chapter 2: Discoveries

**Thanks Carriecullen14 and Backwards In The Dark for reviewing! Hope you enjoy this chapter! **

Discoveries

I fell into a light doze off and on for a few hours. I couldn't make myself fall fully asleep, no matter how hard I tried. I even recalled one of Mrs. Nightwing's insufferable lessons on deportment, verbatim, but even that didn't work. Finally, I give up and decided to explore my new home.

The sky is the same vibrant blue as always, never having darkened for my night. I rise gracefully from the hammock where I had been reposing and straighten my dress, pleased to see that it has contracted no wrinkles or stains. My long locks fall messily over my shoulders, and I suddenly wish for a brush. It is funny, what mundane things we can miss when we no longer have access to them.

I meander over to the river and regard my reflection in its streaming surface.

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall," I say, giggling. "Who's the fairest of them all?"

I mimic a high, stuffy voice. "None could be as beautiful as you, Pippa."

I fall back onto the soft ground with a sigh. There'd be no pesky Snow White in my game. The clouds swirl above me, twisting into kittens and ducks and flowers. I count all the shapes, talking to no one and everything.

"Look, that looks like a bunny! And that one looks like the hat Mother gave me last Christmas."

My mind feels sluggish and my body lethargic. I decide it best if I had a purpose, so I stand up and head for a trail through the woods. What fun! It will be like a treasure hunt. I'll see what secrets I can discover of the realms. How impressed they will be when they return, their silly Pip knows more than them!

I skip through the trees for hours, seeing hardly a change in scenery. The realms are vast! I'd be worried about getting lost, but what difference did it make? I hummed the tunes of silly ditties out loud, trying to pass the time.

_I'm lonesome since I crossed the hill,_

_And o'er the moorland sedgy_

_Such heavy thoughts my heart do fill,_

_Since parting with my besty_

_I seek for one as fair and gay,_

_But find none to remind me_

_How sweet the hours I passed away,_

_With the girl I left behind me._

_Her golden hair in ringlets fair,_

_her eyes like diamonds shining_

_Her slender waist, her heavenly face,_

_that leaves my heart still pining_

_Ye gods above oh hear my prayer_

_to my beauteous fair to find me_

_And send me safely back again,_

_to the girl I left behind me_

I break off suddenly and gasp. There before me is a magnificent forest. And—I hardly know how to explain it—the trees are filled with light! I can't figure it out, it's as if there are candles strung throughout it, making it glow eternally. I run toward one, delighted, and attempt to see what makes it light. I reach my hand up toward where there is a concentration of pulsating light.

My fingers tingle as I reach out to touch it, reminding me of a sensation I once knew. Could it be possible? Could I… Could I use the magic again? Perhaps being part of the realms now, I could. I bite my bottom lip, contemplating what I wanted to make happen. Closing my eyes in concentration, I think hard about what I want to see appear.

With a squeal of delight I run forward, pleased to see the bed of flowers I had wished to appear. I pluck a wildflower and intertwine it with another, and another, until soon I have a lovely crown to place atop my head. _I can use magic!_ I am delighted! I care not for the reason why, all that matters is that I can! Now at least I shall have something to pass the time with.

Leaving the magnificent trees behind me—though, I'll admit, in the face of my newfound talent they seem to have lost their luster—I waltz back into the woods. Every once in a while, I glimpse a creature of some sort. I cannot tell what some are. They have wings, or they ride, or they crawl, there are so many it is overwhelming! Wending through the thick trees, I finally come to a clearing and see the river gleaming before in the light of the moon. From under the thick cover of the trees, I didn't notice the sky darkening, but it looks as if it is already quite late. On the river sits a boat, one I have never seen before.

Its black and red body resembles a dragon's body. Enormous wings reach out from either side, as if it could fly as easily as it could sail. A single giant mast rises near the bow, and though I am no sailor, it seemed to me that the sail was unusually thin. Seaweed drapes over the edges, entangled with glowing silver nets. When I see what was attached to the front of the boat, however, I give a shriek of fear and fall back a few steps.

A head! _A head _is attached. But not only that! No, instead of hair, snakes as long as my arm wriggle around her unmoving, frightening visage. And her skin! It is green and looks more like the skin of a fish than skin of a human. No, she can't be a human. I contemplate simply walking away from this disgusting, terrifying figure, but curiosity gets the better of me. Besides, what's the worst that can happen? It's not like I can _die. _

I slowly put one foot in front of the other, trying to make as little sound as possible as I climb the plank that had already been lowered onto the riverbank. There is a great groan and I glance around, searching for the source, only to cry out when I realize the plank is moving out from under my feet. I wave my arms desperately as I try to keep from tumbling backward onto the grass that suddenly seems far below me. I am able to regain my balance and throw myself forward, landing on the ship's deck with a gasp of relief.

It takes me a few moments to feel steady again before I stand up. The sky is black now, though I can still see. I don't know what eerie source emanates this light, and I'm too preoccupied to find out. For ahead of me, that statuesque face is growing ever closer. It still remains still, though I am half expecting for it to jump up and chase after me at any moment as I draw nearer. Finally, I am an arms length away and I reach out a tentative finger to feel the face.

Hissing erupts from what I thought were stone snakes. Apparently not; nothing here is as it seems. The eyes open slowly, as though the lids are heavily weighted. From underneath its thin lashes peer eyes of a striking yellow. Fearsome, almost like a cat. With bated breath and stand and wait, not wanting to make the first move, afraid of what it might do to me.

"Who are you?" it asks is an ghostly whisper.

"P-Pippa Cross," I stammer. I suck in a breath, trying to quell the trembling of my knees.

Those yellow eyes stare at me for a long time, seeming to search my soul. "You should not be here," she breathes. I've decided from the voice that it must be a woman. "You do not belong here."

"I certainly do!" I retort. She merely shakes her head sadly. "I belong here just as much as you. What are you, anyway?"

"I am the gorgon."

"The what?" The "gorgon" does not reply.

"You should not be here," she says again.

"Stop telling me that," I snap, impatiently throwing my hair behind my shoulders. "Where else am I supposed to be?"

She doesn't answer again, but her gaze lingers across the other side of the river. "Oh, no. Life's much to sweet here to cross," I tell her.

"What do you have left here that is 'sweet'?" she asks.

"Everything! I'm only seventeen, life's only begun!" I cry in joy.

"No. Life has ended. You are not alive anymore."

That puts an end to my ecstasy. I fix her with an icy glare. "That is a lie." Her yellow eyes are filled with a pity that infuriates me to my core.

"I do not lie."

"My friends will come back for me," I inform her haughtily. They would. They _will._

"They will not be able to help. No one can help you now but yourself."

"Things change! Gemma changes things!"

"Some things will always be the same," she says, and I suspect there is a double meaning to her words. I chose to ignore her. "Will your friends even have you back? You have made your choice, they have made theirs."

Her words bring a startled choke to my throat. "Fee will _always _have me back." My voice has sunk dangerously low, and I detest the uncertainty in it. "You don't know what you are talking about."

She laughs, a hollow sound. "I know more than you could if you spent a century here. I see things that are impossible for you to see."

I throw my hands in the air, fed up with cryptic answers. I have never been a thinker like Fee or Gem. I was starting to get a headache.

"You should go now," she tells me, though it comes out as more of an order. The plank lowers again with a loud creak, and I find myself compelled to walk toward it. I can hear her snakes hissing behind me as I debark the vessel, happy to once again have my feet on dry land. What a strange creature. She didn't know anything about my friends. They'll come back. They have to.


	4. Chapter 3: Reunion

Reunion

**Long and not particularly exciting, I know. All the dialogue from this chapter is taken word for word from **_**Rebel Angels, **_**so if you remember that well, skim away! Hope you enjoy it anyway, please R&R!**

Time passes in an endless continuum of blurry memories and vague occurrences. I don't know whether I have been here for years or for hours. I've felt it before, as if time has no meaning in this place, and again I cannot begin to fathom how long I have stayed.

I have done more exploring in the time I have spent in the realms. I never came across the gorgon again—not that I tried very hard to find her, she was rather rude—but I did come across many other creatures who have filled me in with some very interesting information.

I often pass the days imagining what I would be doing if I was back at Spence right now. Playing the role of all my fellows, I often pretend I am back in the classroom under Mrs. Nightwing's stern gaze.

I stand tall and raise my voice to a shrill order. "Girls, stand tall! Don't slouch or you will never get a husband."

In Fee's bored tone, "I don't quite think I want a husband."

"Fee! That's scandalous!" 'Ann' says.

Closing my eyes, I try to picture exactly what Spence's interior looks like. Yes, I can almost see it! There are the columns that we had to bind again. That's the statue over there that I changed into a can-can dancer! I fall back on the soft earth of the garden and wish with all my heart I could see my dear friends again.

I sit up with a start. Voices! I jump hastily to my feet. As I rush toward the source of the sound, I wonder if I willed this to happen with magic, or if they have finally returned.

From behind a grove of olive trees, I spot three girls. I gasp in joy. It's them! I step out and say "Hello. I was hoping you'd come back."

They stare at me in shock for a moment. Felicity snaps out of her reverie first, running to me with an elated smile on her face. "Wait!" Gemma yells, but there is no holding her back. I grab Felicity tight as she reaches me. Oh God, how I've missed her. I kiss her cheeks.

"It's you!" she cries. "Pip, Pip, darling Pip, you're here!"

My own tears mingle with happy giggles as I answer. "Yes! I'm here. Ann! Gemma! Oh, please don't stand staring so." I pout my lip out, upset that they don't embrace me the way Fee does.

"Pippa!" Ann calls out. Good Ann. She runs to me to, and I embrace her. I look for Gemma to join us, but she falls to the ground, racked with sobs.

I run to her. "Oh, Gemma, darling, don't cry." Blossoms bloom where her tears hit the ground. I note rather unwillingly that they are much more beautiful than the flowers I was able to conjure. "Don't cry." I smile at the morose look on her face. "If you could see your face, Gemma. Really, so serious!"

This draws a laugh from her, and we all join in, happy to once again be in each other's company. "Let me look at you. Oh, I have missed you so. You must tell me everything. How is Mrs. Nightwing?" It seems strange that just a short while ago I had been fantasizing about being in her class, bored to tears with those I hold most dear. "Are Cecily and Martha still the most unbearable snobs?"

Ann giggles, "Positively hideous."

"Gemma spilled jam on Cecily's dress just the other morning to keep her quiet," Felicity announces, drawing a little closer to me with a devilish look on her face.

I open my mouth, shocked. That is so…rebellious! Perhaps my choice has influenced my friends more than I know. "You didn't!"

"I'm afraid I did," she responds, looking embarrassed.

"Gemma! You are my hero!"

I ask them everything I can think of. I miss London! I miss Spence! I miss the woods, as terrifying as they were.

"What about my funeral? Did everyone cry awfully much?" I ask. This is something that has been on my mind often lately. My final exit from the world, was it as lovely as I hope?

"Terribly," Ann answers with a nod.

I pull a dandelion from the ground and blow the seeds away. Dare I make a wish? "I am glad to hear it. I'd hate to think of people sitting stony-eyed round my casket." No, I deserve to be cried over, don't I? "Were the flowers lovely? There were flowers, weren't there?"

"The loveliest, most elaborate cascade of flowers," Fee tells me eagerly, and I grant her a grateful smile. "They must have cost a fortune."

"I am so glad to have had such a nice funeral. Oh, do tell me more stories of home!" They have awakened a desire for home that nearly flattens me with its force, and I find information is more necessary to me than air. "Do they talk about me in the great hall? Do they all miss me awfully?"

"Oh, yes," Ann's face shines in its eagerness. "We all do."

My darling friends! "Now you do not have to miss me at all," I tell her as I squeeze her hand sweetly.

Something seems to be troubling Gemma. "Pippa, I thought that you were…" I sense the word that won't come. She doesn't say it, however, favoring a euphemism instead. "I thought that you'd crossed over the river. To the other world beyond the realms. When I left, you and your knight…"

Sitting up attentively, Ann asks, "Where is your knight?"

I scowl impatiently, not liking to bring up unpleasant memories. "Oh, him. I had to let him go." I yawn to emphasize my point. "He always did whatever I asked. Frightfully dull."

"He certainly was handsome," Ann adds longingly.

With a chuckle, I say, "Yes, he was rather, wasn't he?" No use denying the obvious. I shouldn't see one as handsome as him if I see a hundred more years. Which is possible. My gaze flicks to Fee for a moment. Her face is shinning in triumph at our reunion, her blonde hair flying in wisps around her bright eyes. No, I shouldn't see one as handsome as he…

"I am sorry," Gemma interrupts, sounding a little frightened. "But I don't understand. Why didn't you cross over?"

I shrug my shoulders, wishing this conversation could end and we could go back to our happy discussion of what was going on at Spence. "My lord, the knight, told me that I didn't have to cross over after all. There are many tribes here, creatures who've lived in the realms forever. They are part of this world."  
"So you just came back then?"

"Yes." I decide to end this myself, and divert the conversation. "And then I stopped to pick wildflowers to make a crown. Do you like it?"

"Oh, yes," Ann coos.

"I shall make you ones, then." She smiles at me.

"And for me," Felicity adds, not wanting to be forgotten. As if I could forget her.

"Of course. We shall all have one." I can see Gemma is still confused, but I ignore her perplexed face turned in my direction. "How long have I been here?"

Gemma replies, "Two months."

Wow. I don't know what I was expecting. I think I would have been shocked if I had heard a day or if I had heard a year. "Really? Sometimes it seems like yesterday; other times it's as if I've been here forever." Is it bad, that I already felt disconnected? As if I didn't belong in the real world anymore? "Two months…that would make it nearly Christmas. I do think I shall miss Christmas morning." I remember finding piles of presents under my tree. Dresses and gloves and ribbons and brooches. Delicious pastries cooked just for me by our cook. The fabulous gowns at the Christmas balls. And me, all dolled up and smiling radiantly as men flocked to me, wanting a dance.

I can tell I have made them uncomfortable by reminding them that they posses what I most deeply desire. "Perhaps she hasn't completed her soul's task. Perhaps that's why she is still here," Ann pipes up, breaking the silence.

Fee sits up, eyes shining. "Perhaps she is supposed to help us find the Temple!

Temple? I am slightly disgruntled that I have never heard mention of such a thing, despite all my wanderings. "What Temple?"

"When I shattered the runes," Gemma explains, "I released the Order's power into the realms." Perhaps that is why I can use the magic as well. "The Temple is the source of that magic. Whoever finds the Temple and binds the magic there controls it."

"How marvelous!" I exclaim.

Ann's voice is filled with worry as she adds, "But everyone's looking for it, including Circe's spies."  
I amble to Gemma and slip my arm through hers. "Then we must find it first," I say simply. "I shall do everything I can to help you. We can ask the creatures for help." They had helped me already, I am sure they will be most willing to do so again. I am delighted to be once again a part of our Order! I did miss it so.

Gemma, however, shakes her head. "Kartik said we shouldn't trust anything from the realms, not with the magi loose." I see her give me a strange look, as if debating something with herself.

"Kartik?" The name is familiar to me. "The Indian boy? The Rakshana?"

"Yes."

I drop my voice a pitch and cast a surreptitious glance around. "You ought to be careful with him. The Rakshana have their spies here too. They cannot be trusted." Especially over _me_.

"What do you mean?"

I repeat what I have been heard from the creatures of the realms. "I've been told that the Rakshana and the Order are not friends at all. The Rakshana only pretend to be their protectors. What they're really after is the Order's power—control of the magic and the realms."

Gemma looks taken aback. "Who told you such a thing?"

"It is well known here. Ask anyone."

"I've never heard that," she replies, frowning. "Surely my mother would have warned me if that were true."

I sigh. Gemma really didn't want to believe me. "Perhaps she never got the chance. Or perhaps she didn't know everything." That seemed more likely to me. "We know from the diary that she was only a novice when the fire happened."

Gemma is upset by what I have told her. She starts to argue, probably to defend her dear mother, but I interrupt her. "Poor Gemma. Are you cross that I know more about it than you do?" My face is a mask of sympathy, but inside I am gloating. This is what I had hoped for! No longer am I silly, vapid Pippa. Now they come to me for help.

"No, of course not!" she protests, though I sense the lie. "I simply think we should be careful."

Felicity steps in front of her, closer to me. "Hush, Gemma. I want to hear all the secrets of the realms." Oh, Fee! I give her a bright grin and loose my arm from Gemma in exchange for Fee's. _Who's the favorite now?_

Oh, that was rude. I do love them all! I pull them close and kiss all their cheeks, making up for the bad behavior of my mind. "Oh, I have missed you so!" I feel a tear escape my eye and I let it roll gallantly down my cheek which—I hope—is flushed a rosy pink.

"I am sorry, Pip. Please, do tell us what you know."

"If you insist!" They laugh amiably at my eagerness. I sit down on the ground, letting my skirt fall in an elegant circle around me. "The realms are vast. They seem to have no end. I hear there are wonders such as you cannot imagine. A forest of light filled with trees that glow eternally." I had experienced that one myself. "Golden mists and winged creatures like fairies. And a ship with the head of a gorgon." I decide not to disclose my encounter with the gorgon to them, and hope they don't notice the scowl on my face when I mention her. If they knew what she had said to me, would they side with her?

Ann looks horrified. "A gorgon!"

"Oh, yes! I've seen her at night, gliding past in the mist." Not a complete lie, for I had seen her at night, though I pretended not to. "Such an enormous ship and such a fearsome face." That certainly is true.

Ann tucks her bottom lip into her mouth, frightened. "How fearsome?"

"You could die of fright to look in her eyes." I am enjoying telling these tails immensely, though I seem to have frightened Ann a bit too much. I kiss her cheek soothingly. "Don't worry, Ann, darling. I shall be your protector." Fearsome Pippa, strongest of them all!

"I don't wish to meet this gorgon."

"They say she was cursed by the Order and bound by their power never to rest and always to tell the truth." I had heard this from a fairy-like creature I had encountered perhaps two days ago. I had been glad to hear of the curse, though tried—and still try—to not think about what it meant for me that she couldn't lie. Just because she can't lie doesn't mean she can't be mistaken, right?

"Cursed? Why?" Felicity asks.

"I don't know," I say, waving a hand dismissively. "It is one of the legends."

Gemma looks thoughtful. "If she must tell the truth, then perhaps she can tell us where to find the Temple."

I groan inwardly even as my mouth opens to speak. "I shall find her for you." If it helps my friends, I shall do it. Though I won't enjoy it, I promise.

"Must we?" Ann asks.

"Here, Ann, watch this." I'm already smiling as I pick up a handful of grass. As I press it between my palms I feel a familiar tingling sensation run through my arms right down to my fingers. I press my hands together and soon the grass is no longer grass. I open my hands, revealing a tiny black kitten.

"Oh!" Ann cries, reaching out for the kitten and nuzzling it to her cheek.

"There's such fun we shall have now that we are all together again!" I exclaim. Ann and Fee smile excitedly at me, put concern crosses over Gemma's face. _It's just me, Gemma. It's just Pippa. _Yet even I wonder if that's true.

"I've been having the most atrocious dreams about you," she says. I sense she is testing me for something, but I have no idea what.

I reach a hand out to stroke the kitten, changing it from a midnight black to a bright orange, then an angry red. "Really?" I respond. "What were they?"

"It was only the last dream I can recall. You came to me and said, 'Careful, Gemma. They're all coming for you.'"

The corners of my mouth turn down. What does she mean? "Who's coming for you?"

"I don't know," she says. Her brows furrow together, as if I should know the answer. "I thought perhaps you were sending me a message."

"Me?" I ask, incredulous, and shake my head. "I haven't done anything of the sort." I'm done with this tedious talk. "Now come with me! I want to make a Christmas tree." Suddenly I'm consumed with the idea, of being able to pretend I have a normal life. We decorate an elaborate tree, its green boughs covered with multiple layers of tinsel, ornaments and glowing lights. They stay for so long I hope they will never leave, but at last, it is Gemma who urges them to leave.

"Can you come back tomorrow?" I ask, not hiding the pleading tone in my voice.

"I'm leaving for London," Felicity says, sounding almost as sad as I feel. Oh, I forgot they would be leaving. They are so lucky; they know not what they have! "And you two better not come back without me!" she adds as a warning.

"I leave the day after." Gemma gives me a sad glance.

"Ann?"

Ann's voice is heartbreakingly hopeless. Her hair has already lost the luster it gains in the realms, and she answers meekly, "I shall stay at Spence and spend Christmas with the servants, as always."

Gemma looks like she wants to say something comforting to Ann, but I brush on. "How long until you're all together again?"

Gemma answers, "A fortnight."

Immediately I pout my lips out. Two weeks! "That won't do at all. What shall I do for two whole weeks? I shall be so bored without you."

"Felicity and I will see each other," Gemma begins hesitantly, "But Ann…"

"You shall simply have to come home with me." Felicity states. Oh, Fee! What a dear. "I'll send a telegram to Mama first thing tomorrow and tell her to expect us. And I shall spend the evening thinking of a very good story as to why."

I wonder what that story will be. Perhaps Ann will be a princess who has lost her family, like in those silly stories she loves to read. Oh, I'm so jealous!

"I should like that. The holiday and the story." Her smile is bright.

"Soon as we can—two days' time—we'll be back," Gemma promises.

"I shall be waiting." I sigh. It's true, I have nothing else to look forward to but the sporadic visits of my dear, dear friends.

"See what you can discover on your own," Gemma tells me. "Find the gorgon."

I nod, again deciding to conceal the events of earlier. "Must you go so soon?" I don't think I can bear to say goodbye." My voice is choked as I picture the long stretch of time in front of me.

"Two days' time," Fee assures me, smiling a smile meant just for me.

I walk them back to where the runes used to be. "Watch out," Felicity says. A large, black snake slithers out from where a toadstool has split and the grass turned to ash.

"Ugh," Ann says.

I feel a strange sensation in the pit of my stomach. I grab a rock and drop it on the snake, watching with mixed fascination and revulsion as it lands on it, pinning the creature to the ground.

"That is that," I pronounce, wiping my palms together.

"How loathe snakes," Felicity shivers. I vaguely recall her mentioning this fear to me once, long ago in the corners of Spence. My attention is elsewhere now, however. I feel a smile creeping onto my face as I recognize the feeling in my stomach.

Hunger.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

**Sorry for the long delay in updating…I've been crazed with school and finals, ugh! But summer is here soon, and I'll try to update more. Please Read and Review! **

**Little recap: The girls have just been reunited in the realms. Fee, Ann and Gemma are leaving for Christmas vacation, and plan to meet in two days time to reenter the realms. **

I watch them depart, wishing desperately that I could stroll through that door of light with them, but I am rooted to the spot. The hunger has not yet left my stomach. It's a curious sensation, unlike a hunger merely for food. I hunger for something _more, _though I cannot yet comprehend what it is.

I pick up a berry, one of the small ones that led me to my current state of being, and examine it in my hand. I hold the small thing between my fingers and gently squeeze down, until a purplish juice runs in a thin river down my fingers. I bring my fingers to my mouth and gently lick the juice away. Again, a feeling washes over me, different from the first time. I realize what the hunger is. A hunger to be able to do something. A hunger for power.

I hear a twig snap, and revolve my head around slowly, wondering what I would see. To my surprise, my knight is standing before me, though almost unrecognizable. His armor is rusted, no longer the glorious silver I remembered. His hair has grown long, and looks as though it hasn't been washed for days. Worse even than his frightening and disgusting appearance is the look on his face. It is a look of pure loathing. Never has anyone looked at me like that. Not when I accidentally ruined Cecily's gloves. Nor when I ate Elizabeth's chocolates. Not even when I called Fee's mother a whore.

"Ah, so they've left you again, I see," he sneers derisively.

I turn my back to him, occupying myself with growing flowers and weaving them into a crown for Felicity. His heavy footsteps draw closer to me, until he is squatting in front of me, those haunted eyes inches from my own. His finger traces the line of purple trailing out the corner of my mouth. I resist the urge to pull my head away.

"Eating more berries?" he asks with disdain dripping from his words. He gives a harsh laugh. "Are you tying yourself more to the realms? Or, more to the Winterlands, I should say."

"I know not what you mean," I say haughtily. "They are just berries of the realms. I am of the realms, too. Why should I not eat them?"

"'Temptation is the fire that brings up the scum of the heart,'" he says, quoting Shakespeare. "Insolent girl. Food is for the living. We do not need it here. Therefore, it is a temptation, a reminder of life. All temptation belongs to the Winterlands," he says, a wicked grin spreading to his face. "And I must say, I find you very tempting…"

I stand abruptly and shove him away, the magic tingling in my fingers sending him much farther than my normal strength would allow. "I've sent you away once and I'll do it again!" I cry.

He stands up, brushing himself off angrily. "What power have you over me?" he demands, strutting closer. I keep pace backing away from him, care to avoid tripping over anything.

"I've more power than you."

He smiles mockingly. "No. That is the problem. You wish you did. You wish you had the power to change things. But you've never been the powerful one. You've been the beautiful one, the silly one, the weak one. You've always relied on others to take care of you, happy to sit in the back and enjoy the ride. You've never had the thirst for adventure. You just want to be loved. It doesn't matter who it is that loves you. You just want to know that someone cares. Someone needs you. You need to be _needed. _Well, let me tell you something, princess. No one needs you now. You're friends have moved on. They have their world, you have yours. No one needs you. No one wants you there."

I plug my hands over my ears and singing out childishly to block out his words. His horribly truthful words. I can't hear what he says next, but he gestures in the direction of the dark cloud on the horizon. The Winterlands.

I clamp my eyes shut desperately and will him away with all of my might. For several long moments, I stand like that, neither hearing nor seeing. Strangely, it gives me some peace. When I reopen my violet eyes, I am thankful to see that the knight—I shall no longer say my knight, for he is no knight of mine—has gone. He's left something for me, however.

At my feet lies the snake. He has uncovered it from the rock and spread it out before me, unprotected and vulnerable. I stare at it for one, two three seconds, before kicking it away with a shriek. It flies through the air and lands out of sight, and I turn in the opposite direction, hitching up my skirts and beginning to run. Away from all the truths told to me that day. Away from the feelings I was beginning to recognize. I want nothing to do with any of it.

I run until my breath comes in short gasps before I finally take a respite under the cover of a shady tree. I curl my legs up under me and close my eyes. For just a moment, I sink into nothingness. My thoughts meander from this to that as I slowly lay my head down upon the cool earth.

I sit upright suddenly, having just become aware of the thought in my head. I had been thinking of _England. _I start laughing. On my own in a vast forest, I'm laughing so hard that tears well up in my eyes. Was it really only months ago that we had sat discussing lying back and thinking of England?

I stand again, wiping the dirt off my dress and tears from my cheeks. Laughter had diverted me, erasing the problems I had been dwelling on before. I decided now to use my time well, I would once again search for the gorgon. I didn't know if she remained in one spot, or if she roamed freely every day. Come to think of it, I didn't even know how to find the spot I had visited her once before.

I followed my ears to the sound of water, noticing the sunlight starting to dim. The river was its typical clear blue, flowing slowly and softly. I looked to my left and right, wondering what way to choose.

Eventually deciding it probably didn't matter much, I turn to the right and start following the river. I am not looking forward to this renewed acquaintance with the Gorgon. In fact, I am rather dreading it. However, I promised my friends. They need my help. Ha! They _need _me. No matter what the knight said, I knew the truth. They need me like I need them.

By the time I see a ship in the distance, the sky has turned completely black, and the only way I can see is by the dim glow that seemed to be constantly present in the realms. I pick up my pace, which in the intervening time had slowed to a casual saunter, and make my way over to the looming black shape in the distance.

Arriving at the edge of the ship, I expect the gangplank to lower for me as it did before. When it does not, I approach the vessel, looking for a handle of a staircase, anything that will allow me to board. Forced to admit there is no way to board myself, I call out to her. "Gorgon! Let me on!"

With a great groan, the gangplank finally lowers, and I step on it, hurrying the whole way across so as not to be thrown off like last time. But even after my feet reach the surface of the boat, it does not raise again. As if it is waiting just a short time for me to get off again. I shiver. My presence is not welcome here, that much I am sure.

"Gorgon," I say, announcing my presence. I see her at the front, but she doesn't turn to face me. "I've come back."  
"Yesssss."

"I have come to ask you for your help."

She turns her frighteningly yellow eyes onto me, her snake-hair writhing around her face. "My aid is not yours to ask for," she replies.

I grunt in frustration. "It's not for _me, _specifically. It is for Gemma." She still does not reply. "Can you at least answer my questions?"

Still gazing at the water, her strange whisper reaches my ears. "You may ask, though I promise no answers for you."

"Where is the Temple?"

No answer.

"Do you not know, then?" I ask, depressed that my idea may have been for nothing.

"I cannot tell you," she says.

I feel like pounding my fists in a tantrum. "You mean you don't know, or you will not tell me?"

She merely repeats, "I cannot tell you."

Gorgons are the most insufferable creatures! "Will you tell Gemma?" I inquire, though it bothers me that she may tell Gemma and not me.

"Perhaps"

"If I bring her to you, will you see her?"

"Yesss."

I clap my hands together, pleased to finally get somewhere with her. "Good. I'll return in two days' time then. Will you be here?"

She nods her head slowly, her snake hair bobbing with her. It is mesmerizing to watch. Her yellow eyes drift from my face to the plank that is still lowered. I slowly turn away from her, aware of her eyes still on m back, and make my way back to the garden.

When my feet hit the ground again, I once again look behind me at the ship, amazed again by ts sheer size and imposing presence. The plank is raised, leaving me alone. It's a feeling I have become accustomed to these past few weeks. The feeling of having no one and nothing to talk to.

Two days, I remind myself. I just have to wait two days, and they will return for me.

**p.s. I couldn't think of a name for this chapter, any ideas?**


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**Hey everyone, sorry for the long delay. No excuses, I'm just going to apologize. This next chapter is Chapter 13 from Rebel Angels, but (of course) from Pippa's point of view. I'm also splitting into two so I can update sooner. Enjoy, and please R&R! It makes me write faster. :)**

I don't really know how I passed the time before my friends finally returned. Vague blurs of colors and sounds crowd my memory, but all I really see clearly is the faces of my friends swimming behind my eyes. Ann. Gemma. Felicity. They're coming for me. They still want me.

This time I am prepared for them when they come. I was awaiting them in the garden, and the moment I see the door of light appear, I jump nimbly to my feet and race toward it, giggling in excited anticipation. I grip my drooping garland to my head as a run, not wanting to lose it. Gemma's head is turned as she enters, making sure Fee and Ann are following her, and I take the opportunity to wrap my fingers around her eyes and shroud her in temporary darkness.

She gasps, frightened, and slides out from behind my eyes. Gemma gets scared so easily! "Oh, poor Gemma! Did I frighten you?" I giggle, a bit sarcastically.

"N-no. Well, a little, perhaps," she replies, thought I barely notice, for Fee and Ann are running toward me and embracing me, and I grip them back like an anchor.

Ann turns back slightly and asks Gemma, "What's the matter?"

"I gave our poor Gemma a start," I answer with a wicked grin. "Don't be cross with me." I grip her hand and lean close. "I've a surprise. Follow me."

After once again finding the Gorgon and conversing with her, I organized a plan. I would tell Gemma and the others I had just found the Gorgon, and make no reference to our two conversations. I doubt the Gorgon will either. I'll lead them to wear I know she will be, and get the conversation rolling, then allow her and Gem to talk. It still is a prickle in my side that she will answer to Gemma and not me.

I lead them through the trees, after ordering the to close their eyes. It's just a short way, and I'm itching in anticipation.

"Open them," I call out.

I watch them as their faces transform into awe, fear, and excitement. Ann talks a faltering step backward, away from the fearsome sight she imposes. Felicity runs forward, hardly able to contain her glee. And Gemma, Gemma just stands there, staring at the Gorgon's frightful head.

"I've found her!" I exclaim. "I've found the gorgon! Quickly! Let's ask her about the Temple before she gets away." I know she will not, but there is no reason for them to. "Ahoy, there!"

She turns to face us, her cat-like eyes opening slowly. Though the sight still repulses me, I have become slightly more accustomed to it, but realize my friends are not. Gemma looks shocked, and Ann a bit green.

"What do you wish?" she asks, her voice dark and slippery.

"Are you the gorgon?" I ask, wanting to confirm for my friends that this is indeed her.

"Yessss."

I bite my lip, trying to decide what to ask without giving away that I have been here before. "Is it true that you are bound by the Order's magic to do no harm and speak only the truth?"

Her eyes close for a fraction of a second. "Yesssss."

"We are looking for the Temple. Do you know it?" Perhaps Gemma doesn't have to ask, just has to be here. I am quite relieved when she does indeed answer my question.

"All know of it. None knows where it may be found. None but the Order, and they have not come for many years."

"Is there anyone who may know where to find it?" The gorgon is annoying me once again with her cryptic, unhelpful answers. I flick my hair back impatiently and fix her with my own icy glare.

"The Forest of Lights. Philon's tribe." I have no idea what she is talking about, but compose my face in a mask so that no one can see my ignorance. "Some say they were once allies to the Order. They may know where to look for this Temple."

"Very well, then," I continue breezily. "We wish to go to the Forest of Lights.

"Only one of the Order may bid me," the gorgon says.

I feel my face flush, embarrassed to be refused, and my anger rising. I point to Gemma with a sharp flick of my hand. "She is one of the Order," I answer, annoyed that she didn't remember.

"We shall see."

All eyes have turned on Gemma, and I can see her a bit uncomfortable in the spotlight. How I wish I were in her position…I would hold the place well.

"Go on, Gemma," Fee urges. "Try."

She steps forward, and I see her face cloud over as she takes in the sight of the gorgon and struggle to fid her voice. "We wish to go to the Forest of Lights," she begins, and her voice comes out stronger than I expected. "Will you take us, gorgon?"

The plank lowers as it had for me, and Felicity and I run giddily ahead to board first. "Must we go on this?" Ann asks. I pity the poor girl, so wary in a world made for the strong.

"Don't be scared, Ann, darling. I'll be with you," I promise, taking her pale hand and pulling her forward.

Felicity notices the nets hanging off the side of the boat, and I realize I have no idea what they are for. Catching fish? That is stupid, for why would the gorgon need to eat? Thankfully, Fee asks instead of me. "These are light as cobwebs. What fish can you possibly catch with them?

The gorgon looks strange and distant as she answers in her thick voice. "They are not for catching. They are for warning."

"Look, how pretty," Ann states as she dips her fingers gingerly into the shimmering water. I don't think I shall ever see this water as pretty. "Wait, do you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

We all glance around, straining our ears for a moment. "There it is!" Ann cries suddenly. "Oh, that is the most beautiful sound I have ever heard." Ann bends near the water, as if she wants to get as near to the source of the melody as possible. "It's coming from the river. Something's there, just below the surface."

I hear it now too, and rush curiously and lean over the edge of the ship, clutching the rail to keep myself from falling. I watch as Ann slowly extends her hand, her pudgy fingers grazing the water for the briefest moment. I squint my eyes, thinking I saw something shimmering underneath the surface. I leave the rail and begin to walk toward Ann, hoping to get a better view, but before I can even take a step, the wings of the great ship raises suddenly, blocking the path and forcing us backward.

"That was sudden," Ann comments. "The music's stopped. Now I'll never know where that lovely song came from."

"Some things are best not known," the gorgon intones, once again mysterious.

I see Ann's widen as a gentle shiver runs down her spine. "I don't like this. We've no way off now."  
Poor, darling Ann. So frightened. She doesn't have quite the strength the rest of us posses. I give her a comforting kiss on the cheek, hoping to fortify her weak will with a kind gesture. "We must be brave girls now," I dictate. "We must go to the Forest of Lights if we are to find the Temple."

"You are my mistress and must bid me go," the gorgon says, and for a fleeting second I think she is talking to me. I raise my head hopefully, only to find she is staring at Gemma, who seems unaware. As always—unaware of her own power.

"Very well," she says, though I can see through her calm façade. She doesn't know where to go. "Down the river, if you please."

As the garden fades from view, I lounge on the deck, gazing happily at my friends. "Gemma, you look positively green," I say, suppressing a giggle.

"My father says if you can see where you are headed, it helps," Fee says helpfully, and Gemma leaves us to stand with the gorgon at the head of the boat. I follow her with my eyes for a moment as she converses with the gorgon. I wonder what they are saying.

My attention is diverted as Felicity barrels toward me and wraps an arm around my waist, twirling me in circles. I giggle as I join her merry jig. "Pip!" she cries. "This is just like when we were younger, remember? We used to plan to sail together, on a magnificent ship, on dangerous water!" Of course I remembered. I remember everything Fee has told me.

She takes a mock battle stance, legs wide and holding an imaginary sword. "I, the brave soldier. Who wants to be the damsel in distress?" she asks, and Ann and I both agree willingly.

"Two damsels! I must be a very strong soldier." She jumps about on the boat, swinging her 'sword' and vanquishing pretend foes. Ann and a laugh at the spectacle, feigning fear at just the right moments. When at last we collapse together, leaning against the walls of the ship, I lay my head on Felicity's shoulder and sigh.

"Fee," I whisper. "Ann. I'm so glad you're hear." I feel my throat choke up slightly and try to disguise it by turning away, pretending to be fascinated by a strange pattern in the wood. It doesn't fool Fee. She cups my chin and turns my head to face her.

"No tears, Pip. We're all here. We're together. We're on an _adventure._" I nod, only feeling a little better. Felicity leans close and whispers just so I can hear, "I'll always be here, Pippa." I smile gloriously at her. She pulls me to my feet again, and Ann joins us, gripping each other's hands tightly. A sudden breeze comes from behind, whipping the garland off my head. I laugh and chase after it, traversing the distance of the boat in a few quick strides. I notice Gemma and the gorgon staring at me, and decide they've had enough time together.

I call to her, "Gemma! How are you feeling?"

"Much better!" she responds.

"Come back, then!" I'm gratified to see her leave the gorgon and rejoin us. I wonder what has been said between them, and how much of it had to do with me. I notice she stares at me often now.

"Isn't the river beautiful?" I ask, a grin on my face. Gemma smiles and nods in that familiar way. "Oh, I've missed you all so very much. Did you miss me terribly?" Felicity is again the first to comfort me. Her arms wrap me in a tight embrace. "I thought I should never see you again." I hug her back, hard, and promise to myself I will do whatever it takes to always see Fee again.


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

**Sorry for the long delay, I started another story and got was really focused on that! This is the second half of Chapter 17 of Rebel Angels (I said Chapter 13 last time, sorry! My mistake.) Please read and review, it motivates me to update faster. And I huge thanks to all of you that did! Oh and the italics are the end of last chapter, it made this beginning make more sense. **

"_Isn't the river beautiful?" I ask, a grin on my face. Gemma smiles and nods in that familiar way. "Oh, I've missed you all so very much. Did you miss me terribly?" Felicity is again the first to comfort me. Her arms wrap me in a tight embrace. "I thought I should never see you again." I hug her back, hard, and promise to myself I will do whatever it takes to always see Fee again._

"You saw us not two days ago," Gemma reminds me, not understanding. She doesn't know how it feels to wait, ever wondering if she will be waiting forever, for nothing.

"But I can scarcely bear it. It is nearly Christmas. Have you been to any dances yet?"

Ann answers me. "No, but Felicity's mother and father will have their Christmas ball.

I respond glumly, remembering the numerous balls Felicity I had attended together, and the countless more we planned on going to. "I suppose it will be very grand."

"I'm to wear my first gown." I remember my excitement at my own first gown, and despite the fact that talk of balls and Christmases that I shall not be attending has put me in a foul mood, I can't help but be happy for Ann. Her plump cheeks are glowing, her bright smile lighting her entire face. As she describes her gown to me, it's stunning color, flattering cut, luxurious details, I'm reminded of being back at Spence, the four of us together.

I twirl Fee around with enthusiasm, glad for this moment of happiness. "We are together. And we never have to part."

"But we have to go back," Gemma states, as always the one to bring us back to the horrible face of reality.

I turn my large, violet eyes to her, the hurt clearly evident on my face. I don't like the way my voice comes out, pale and weak. "But when you form the Order again, you'll come for me. Won't you?" I'm begging like a child, I can't be left alone again

Fee rushes back to me. "Of course we will." I wrap my arms around her, leaning my head on her small shoulder.

"You are my dearest friends in all the world. Nothing will ever change that." And I was certain nothing would. Ann wriggles her way into the embrace, and I giggle and let her in. After a long moment of hesitation, Gemma wraps her arms around me as well. At the center of this flower-like hug, I feel certain of my future. Once the Temple is found, Gemma shall be able to do as she wishes, and perhaps I'll even return home.

As the boat navigates a sharp turn and the gorgeous shore and cliff caves come into view, we are able to view the carvings in the rising walls. Fifty-feet tall Goddesses have been etched into their stone, covered in nothing more than jewels. I stare at them, though Ann seems quite embarrassed by their nakedness. "Oh, gracious," she says, averting her eyes.

"What are those?" Felicity asks, finding them no more shocking than the paintings of fruit and flowers lining the walls of Spence.

"The Caves of Sighs," answers the gorgon. "They are but abandoned ruins now, inhabited only by the Hajin, the Untouchables." Her voice sounds disdainful, disgusted.

"The Untouchables?" Gemma asks.

"Yesss. There is one. Filthy vermin." She nods to the right as something I can't make out moves out of view into the foliage on the shore.

"Why are they called Untouchables?" Ann asks, taking the words out of my mouth.

"They've always been thus. The Order banished them to the Caves of Sighs. No one goes there now. It is forbidden."

"Well, that isn't fair. It isn't fair at all," Ann protests. I smile sadly at her, and I notice Fee and Gemma do too. Ann understands the Untouchables plight better than any of the rest of us.

"What was it used for before?" Gemma asks.

Of course, the gorgon answers promptly, and I wonder if there is anything she doesn't know. "It was the place where the Order took their lovers."

Ann sputters, and Felicity asks, "Lovers?"

"Yes." There is a long pause as we all stop to glance at each other. "The Rakshana."

I see Gemma's shocked expression, remembering the Indian boy she had seemed so well acquainted with. "The Rakshana and the Order were lovers?" she asks incredulously.

"Once."

With a shout, Fee calls, "Look at that!" Just visible along the horizon, a thick film falls from the sky, gleaming like gold, preventing us from seeing what is ahead. The sound of it reminds me oddly of a waterfall.

"Are we going thought there?" Ann questions worriedly, and I pull her close, protecting her.

"Don't fret so. It will be all right. I'm sure, else the gorgon wouldn't bring us through it. Isn't that right, Gemma?" I add, though I'm sure she has no more idea than I do.

"Yes, of course." Her voice is unsure, though it seems I am the only one who notices. Gemma adds something else, though even I, standing three feet from her, cannot make it out over the roaring of the golden waterfall. As a unit we crouch on the floor of the ship, huddled together so as not to loose each other in the heavy mist. Ann's eyes are pressed closed from the start, Gemma's joining her soon after. I keep my eyes open, locked with Felicity's.

After what seems like an eternity, we make it to the other side, though in front of us I can see no land. "We're alive," Ann says, and I almost feel like laughing at the shock in her voice.

"Ann," I say, after having observed her. "look—now you are a golden girl!" Flecks of gold cover our skin like scales, and we all laugh as they shimmer in the light.

"Oh, we're fine, aren't we?" Fee states. "No trouble at all!"

With a laugh, I say, "I told you not to be afraid."

The gorgon once again speaks in her strange, eerie voice. "The magic is strong." We pause for a moment, allowing her to elaborate, but she doesn't. I know not what she means by this.

"Gemma, why must we bind the magic?" It's a question I've been dying to ask for a long while now, certain that I can convince Gemma to do otherwise.

"What do you mean?" she seems terribly confused. "Because it is loose inside the realms."

"What if that's not such a terrible thing?" I counter. "Why shouldn't anyone be allowed to use this power?"

I can tell Gemma is uncomfortable with my questions, but I need answers. "Because they could use it to come into our world and create havoc. There'd be no sense of order or control upon it." _Come into our world_. She had said it, right there. No matter how many times she denied I could return, she had admitted realm creatures could cross over, so I wouldn't loose hope.

"You don't know that the inhabitants of the realms would use it unwisely."

She is frustrated with me. "Don't we? Do you remember that creature that enslaved my mother?"

"But it was joined to Circe. Perhaps they're not all like that," I ponder, determined not to give up.

"And how would I decide who should have it, who can be trusted?"

Here she has me. I have no idea how to determine who is trustworthy and who isn't. Trust is a fickle thing. It takes ages to earn, but only seconds to loose.

She shakes her head. "It is out of the question. The longer the magic is loose, the greater the danger that those spirits here can become corrupted. We must fin the Temple and bind the magic once again. Then we shall reform the Order and maintain the balance of the realms."

I pout my lips once again, annoyed when Gemma is right. "Very well. We're almost there anyway."


End file.
